How I Took Control of My Curly Hair

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Looking back at my curly hair routine from a few years ago makes me want to travel back in time and tell my past self to stop what I was doing and throw out every single one of those products.

Sound a bit harsh?

Well, it’s true… I always wondered why my hair would look perfectly okay and then by the end of the day it was a frizzy, puffy mess. #notcute

2018 was the year of self-discovery when it came to my health and beauty routines. I finally found a birth control method that works wonders and I took the time to research and learn about ingredients in my beauty products. Switching to natural deodorant, becoming more invested in skincare products, and finally researching products that are MADE for curly hair. I’ve stopped falling for these curly hair products made by brands who don’t know a single thing about curly hair and falling for all of their cool advertisements and marketing campaigns. Nope. No more.

Before (2015)

After (2019)

The Curly Girl Method

Y’all I found my people when I discovered the Curly Girl Method. Turns out there’s an entire community of curly-haired girls out there that are sharing all the best products, what ingredients to stay away from, and how to tame your mane.

The essentials of the curly girl method are as follows: no sulphates, silicones, mineral oil, waxes, or drying alcohols.

The Curious Jalebi goes into wayyyyy more detail about why each of these ingredients is bad for your hair. Highly recommend giving that article a read (and honestly all of her articles) before you start on your own curly girl journey.

If you’re ever unsure about whether or not a product is Curly Girl Approved, you can copy and paste the ingredients list into this website! It’s super helpful and I use it all the time.

My Haircare Routine

So the whole Curly Girl Method was a bit intense for my liking. Plus, those Deva Curl products are hella expensive. And I’m a broke college student living off at-most $500 a month. There’s not room in my budget for a $30+ haircare item.

Day 1: It’s Time for a Wash

The whole curly hair process starts with washing my hair. Sometimes I shower at night, and sometimes I shower in the morning. My routine differs slightly depending on when I’m washing.

The routine starts out the same – shampoo & condition. It’s important to stay away from all of the ingredients listed in that handy dandy infographic above. Those are known to dry out the hair and cause frizz. Frizz is the last thing I want.

Here are some of my faves:

Washing @ Night

After rinsing my conditioner out and hopping out of the shower, I toss my hair up in a towel and let it dry for a few minutes. Apparently, terry cloth towels are the devil for curly hair so you’re supposed to use a microfiber towel to combat frizz…. I don’t do that because I’m #lazy.

Once my hair is no longer dripping wet, I add in a quarter-sized amount of leave-in conditioner. I run it through my hair and then throw it into a messy bun on top of my head.

I sleep with it wet and then do the whole styling process in the morning.

In the morning, I wet my hair until it’s in between the damp and soaking wet stage. I flip my head over, take a good amount of my hair scrunching gel, and get to scrunching. It’s essentially the same routine as washing my hair in the morning minus the whole shower part.

I scrunch until the curls are well-defined and then leave them to air dry.

Washing in the Morning

After rinsing out my conditioner, I grab my styling gel and get ready for some scrunching action. I turn away from the stream of water, flip my head over, and scrunch a good amount of my curl gel through my hair. Scrunching actions only.

Once I’m satisfied with the scrunching, I hop out of the shower and scrunch my hair with a towel until it’s no longer dripping wet. The less scrunching with a towel the better.

I let my hair air dry and it turns into these beautiful, well-formed curls that aren’t frizzy or puffy or undefined. It’s honestly amazing.

My Favorite Styling Products

Day 2 & 3: Style Me Please

I freshen up my curls with a mixture of water and my leave-in conditioner. It puts some moisture back into them and makes them almost just as bouncy as my day 1 curls.

If I feel like my water & leave-in conditioner mixture just isn’t doing it, I’ll re-wet my hair and add more curl gel. It takes a few tries to understand your hair and know just how much product it needs to be happy without feeling greasy or weighed down.

My day 2 and day 3 curls are still just as defined and beautiful as day 1!

Day 4 & 5: Messy Buns and Getting Stuff Done

After day 3, I’m not the biggest fan of styling my hair with curls. I find that my curls lose their oomph, and they get a tad frizzy. Plus, wearing my hair curly all the time is a lot to handle.

As you’ve probably seen in a lot of my Instagram posts or IG stories, I love a good messy bun, and that’s how I live the majority of my life.

I could easily wash my hair again on day 4 and start over with fresh hair, but the truth of the matter is is that I’m #lazy, and I find washing my hair to be an inconvenience LOL. Sometimes I look back at my middle school and high school self and wonder how on earth I managed to wash my hair EVERY SINGLE DAY. Was that just me? I definitely feel like it was a part of the times to just strip all oils from your hair on a daily basis.

Fun Curly Girl Videos

Keep in mind, I’m still only about 8 months into this whole curly hair journey. I’m sure I’ll find new products that I love and new methods that work even better for me! And of course I’ll share all of that with you 🙂 I introduced my mom to these products and she’s just as obsessed as I am. I guess that means it actually works!

~abigail gray

IUD Experience Part 3: Three Months Later

** Please note that this post contains some descriptive detail of periods and the uterus and ovaries. **

This is the 3rd installment of my IUD Experience series. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

To be completely honest, I cannot believe I’ve had my IUD for three months. Three months exactly as of this week. Y’all. Where did the time go!?

I’ve talked about my background with PCOS and why I chose to go for the IUD. I’ve gone into detail about the insertion experience. Now I want to share exactly how I’m feeling and how my body has changed since I’ve had the IUD in for three months.

We left off in this IUD experience journey after the most painful experience of my life: the insertion. Would the cramping ever go away? Would I finally feel like myself again and not some raging hormonal crazy woman who couldn’t control her emotions? Would I actually not suffer from depression and migraines every time I got my period?

The First Month

The first month was definitely the most challenging. I never knew what my body was going to do that day or how I would feel.

Was I going to cramp all day? Would I be exhausted? Was I going to want to rip off everyone’s head?

Working Out with the IUD

This is where things got a bit weird for me.

I took about a week off of the gym after the insertion. My body needed time to rest, and I was not going to force it to try and heal my muscles while also trying to heal my uterus and cervix.

The first few sessions were solid. No issues, no pain, I was 100%. I was taking those workouts a bit easier than normal because my body was still healing.

About two weeks after the insertion, I was feeling practically back to normal. So, my workouts became intense again. I was pushing myself on leg days, my shoulders would feel like they were about to explode on my push days, and I was working hard on my deadlifts. But then, something changed.

Every single time I would workout, I would get horrific cramps. They were so bad where I was to the point of quitting my workouts and going home early. And then, when I would get home, they would continue to be bad for the remainder of the day. I was practically bedridden after going to the gym because my cramps were that bad.

I called the doctor about it and they got me in fairly quick to do an exam to see if anything was wrong. There was also a slight concern because you’re supposed to be able to feel the strings of your IUD right before you hit your cervix. I couldn’t feel mine. At that point, there was a scale of things that it could’ve been, and of course, my mind was dead set on the worst-case scenario: my body was rejecting the IUD and it would have to be removed OR the IUD had punctured the wall of my uterus and would have to be removed.

I went in, they felt around, and the doctor couldn’t find the strings either. So, off I was to do an ultrasound to see if the IUD was where it was supposed to be.

Everything checked out to be A-okay with the IUD. It was in the proper place, no issues were found, and the strings had gone back up through the cervix and into the uterus. No big deal.

What they did find was a 3cm cyst on my left ovary. I do have PCOS so I’m used to cysts and cysts popping on a regular basis, but when a cyst gets that big, it can be a bit painful. That was the cause of all of my pain. Thank god it was nothing serious, and it would go away after awhile.

I took about a week and a half off of the gym after the whole cyst ordeal because of traveling for the holidays. I can say that I haven’t had cramping during or after workouts since then. YAY!

My Life Now

How are my periods and do I even get my period anymore?

The short answer is no, I do not get my period anymore. That’s with the definition of active bleeding every month. So in that sense, no.

But here’s what I have experienced:

• The first “period” was around Christmas. God awful cramping and exhaustion. I was on 1000mg of ibuprofen just to take away a bit of the pain. Not fun. But there was no active bleeding.
• The second “period” was around the end of January. Cramps weren’t as bad but sometimes it would hit me out of nowhere and I’d have to legit stop what I was doing, sit down, and breathe through them. Took some Midol/Pamprin to deal with all of it. I did have that gross brown snot-like blood/discharge. So no active bleeding, but it wasn’t my normal.

I’ve only had this sucker in for 3 months so I’m still not 100% sure about how my body is when it’s on my “period”. So far I know I have cramping and maybe some slightly brown discharge, but other than that, it’s not bad.

I will say that it is a bit strange being iritable and cramping out of nowhere with no other signs of having your period… It’s kind of like “what the heck is going on with me” and then I realize, “oh, I guess it is that time again.”

Emotions, Anxiety, Depression, & Migraines

When it is around that time of my “period”, I get extremely irritable. Like, it’s bad. I am so sorry for the people in my life because it’s not great.

During my last two “periods”, I didn’t get my usual spells of depression. And, it was so freaking nice. I was actually able to function like a normal human while I was on my period. I wasn’t thinking about how awful my life was 24/7 or how I don’t think I’m good enough or how I didn’t even want to get out of bed because there was no point.

As far as anxiety goes, I haven’t noticed that much of a difference. I am on meds for my anxiety so that keeps me stable a good 90% of the time.

There was a point in time a few years ago where I was on a certain kind of pill and I would get migraines every time I went on the placebo pills so I could get my period. They came like clockwork. Over the past few years, we’ve changed up my pills so I didn’t have that issue anymore. When I switched to the IUD, migraines were a big worry for me.

Luckily I didn’t have one during my period in December. I did have one at the end of my period at the end of January, but I’m not sure if that was period related or if it was just the weather/something I ate. The next few months will definitely be a determining factor of whether or not my periods will trigger migraines.

Moving Forward

I’m genuinely so happy that I decided to take my reproductive health into my own hands.

I’ll be keeping tabs on my mental and emotional state as the months go by so I can get a better feel for what my body becomes when I’m on my period. Hopefully, as the months go by, things will start to level out even more and I’ll be even happier.

Part 4 is in the works and it’ll include any and all your questions about my IUD experience, PCOS, and all things related to the whole process. Thank you all so much for your support, and if you have any questions, please feel free to leave them below 🙂

~abigail gray